As we grow older, we see or hear about the death of someone with more regularity. This is simply a fact of life.
Often, we don’t give much thought to “death notices” because we don’t know that person or we may have only crossed paths with them a time or two.
Last year, our industry lost a number of people, many of whom we knew personally.
Some of those that went to their eternal rest were very close friends of mine, like D. Mike Pennington – a longtime Meritor employee and a global trucking industry legend – who I met when I first got into truck trade journalism way back when.
Others, like Jackie Pobiega – communications manager for Continental Truck Tires – I had known for but a few years.
Regardless of the amount of time we know someone, their death strikes deep. The penetration of sadness depends upon the friendship with that person or loved one.
The sorrow is intensified when a person dies unexpectedly. That was the case with both Pennington and Pobiega.
What to Dwell Upon
A number of years ago, I heard a profound eulogy that I took to heart. The speaker said that as difficult as it is when someone close to us dies, it is important to dwell – not on the pain we feel in that loss – but on the great pleasure experienced in knowing that person.
While I deeply mourn the passing of friends and family members, a number of whose time in life was way too short, I hold dear the memories of my time with them, and I feel blessed to have known them.
Written upon a headstone in Ireland is: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal.” How poignant.
Change
We can’t help but be changed by someone’s passing, especially those close to us. Grief does not discriminate, and everyone grieves in their own way.
What I have discovered is that death makes us suddenly aware of how temporary we are and promotes self-reflection. It also helps us to put things into perspective.
We come to the realization that in the scheme of things, many of our problems aren’t that big a deal after all, and are not worth all the worry and stress we create over them.
We think about the need to take different actions in our life, to stop taking so many things for granted, to see where we may be wasting time or opportunities, to plan how to accomplish those things we have thought about doing but have not done and to grow personally.
Awareness of death is also an avenue through which we embrace our mortality, causing us to develop what psychologists call prosocial behavior – actions intended to help or benefit others.
Value of Time
Furthermore, death also gives new meaning to our lives because it helps us comprehend that we have only so much time, and no one knows just how much. That gives greater importance and value to the time we have remaining and how we should spend it.
Let’s suppose that, heaven forbid, you came down with some horrible disease and doctors give you only a year to live. I would bet the farm that you would live those 12 months considerably different than if you figured you would be alive for another 30 years.
Consider this quote from Frank Sinatra: “You only go around once, but if you play your cards right, once is enough.”
I leave you with this passage by Ralph Waldo Emerson, a poet, philosopher and essayist:
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
